Finally the Johannes GP! Where was Neppis Weekly's Editor? 11.08.2001 With regular Neppis Weekly reporter Yousee FoundtheSwampyForest on vacation entertaining foreign sponsors for this e-rag somewhere in the bogs north of Kehä III; it fell to our English correspondent, yours truly the Timonator, to bring you all the highlights of this race. The Johannes GP is one of the founding tracks of the Helsinki Neppis Championship Circuit and the fans (and drivers!) came out in the single digits. Get Me To the Church On Time! Even with their day's schedule planned nearly one year ago, the excitement of this race could not keep this bride and groom from enjoying the warm up laps of the drivers. As the groom looked on, he saw his whole bachelorhood symbolically presented to him in the raw power only fully tanked neppis driving team can deliver. A picturesque reminder of all that he had decided to give up: "Waaazzzuuuuuppth?" "Vittuuuuu, tuheroooooo!" "Where are the varikko misut at?" "Hei baby! Blow on my neppis for luck." We never saw him again... RACE #1: The Tuhero Labyrinth! After the qualifiers the starting positions were as follows: 1. Samuli 2. Eino 3. Major 4. Tornio 5. Matti 6. Detroit Red Bull Red Bull left at the starting line! As the first race of the day got under way, Detroit Red Bull must have been thinking about what to say for his victory speech as the lights turned green for he never noticed that the other racers had already started. Two full turns into the race our beloved foreigner gets his act together to start up his engine. The Tuhero Labyrinth casts an ugly fate... After a tight and congested first few turns "The Iceman" Samuli breaks away from the pack at the half way point to gain a considerable lead; Matti, Major, Eino, Tornio and a distant Red Bull following his dust. But our leader cautiously navigates the tuhero labyrinth costing him precious time as both Major and Matti on a hair raising set of jumps and turns, blaze their way through the maze of pitfalls to gain on the leader. Well, Matti that is, as on the final bend Major is cut off by the fresh upstart to Neppis racing and finds himself taken down a notch or two into the tuhero...of...Horrorrrr! Tornio and Red Bull weave their way slowly but surely through the tuhero labyrinth, and newly crowned tuhero mestari Nono Pihkaalis spends the rest of the race nose down in the Pit...Of... Deeeaaathhh! Showdown at Mutant Corner... At Mutant corner lost time taken for cautious driving almost costs Samuli victory as Matti "Who's that new driver?" threatens to over take the Iceman. But true to form (and perhaps a spot of well planned showing off for the media) Samuli kicks in his overdrive to leave the up and coming newbe eating his dust. Final Positions: 1. Samuli 10 points 2. Matti 6 points 3. Tornio 4 points 4. Major 3 points 5. Red Bull 2 points 6. Nono Pihk 1 point Track Masters: Major, Timppa, Matti RACE #2: The Long Stretch! After the qualifiers the starting positions were as follows: 1. The Iceman Samuli 2. Major 3. Tornio 4. Matti 5. Detroit Red Bull 6. Nono A Conservative start, drivers afraid of being left behind? After the lights flared green, the Red Bull was not left red in face this time quickly jumping out of 5th position to take the lead, the Iceman following close behind after an initial traffic jam. All drivers were within half a neppis of one another for almost the entire first half of the race, excepting the Major, who's engine stalled at the start line for two full turns. Perhaps the drivers were all worried that the first of them to reach the incredible straight away designed by the track masters would decidedly dust anyone left more than a full neppis behind. All the drivers were conservatively watching out to make their move. The Iceman makes his move on the Long Stretch! Conservative driving pays off for the Iceman, as he makes a slow pass of the Red Bull on the longest straight away ever designed in the history of the Helsinki Neppis Championship Circuit. Detroit could only watch...in...Horroooorrrr as his engine could not match the output of the Iceman. The Long Stretch proved a tactical turning point for other drivers as Major pulls out from last place to pass both Nono and Tornio putting the pressure on Matti newbe. The running fight for victory has fans on the edge of their seats! In the last turns before the finish line an intense struggle for the lead takes place as Detroit Red Bull and the Iceman duke it out for the top spot, each passing the other on succeeding turns. But the Red Bull's intensity wins out as the Iceman uncharacteristically spins out just before the final turn to the checkered flag; both the Red Bull and Matti passing him up! Quickly, Samuli regains his composer and the sight of the Iceman in his own rearview mirror turns newbe Matti's fingers all thumbs and newbe takes his own turn spinning. Red Bull races on to victory followed by the Iceman and Major, who passes up newbe in the final centimeters before the finish line (pretty good for the driver who began the race stalled for two turns on the starting line!). Final Positions: 1. Red Bull 10 points 2. Iceman 6 points 3. Major 4 points 4. Newbe 3 points 5. Tornio 2 points 6. Nono 1 point Track Masters: Major, Eino, Matti